The Rocc Flock: The Square - COVID-19 Week 6

Here we are.....week 6 of the COVID-19 quarantine. I've been struggling since the last time I've posted but I think I have figured my way out of it. I had plenty of therapy after my mom died and after our house fire. I think that was part of it - I was mad at myself because I've lived through hard things before and this time around I was not coping well at all. But -- I'm definitely showing signs of depression and I am determined to kick its butt.

I have found scaling back on trying to capture pictures of our times together as a family has definitely helped. It is SO freeing to leave the house without my phone -- I usually take pictures with my phone. I spend so much of my teaching life on a computer now (which I hate) that being away from a screen is like a breath of fresh air.

I realized that many of the pictures I was taking of my family were more of the same...we're still heading out to nature to fill our afternoons that are sunny....we're still riding our bikes....we're still trying to support our family and friends through random acts of kindness, and YouTube videos, and FaceTime and KidsMessenger.

So -- for this post, I wanted to focus on THE SQUARE. I have decided that the twins and I are going to train for a 5K. No worries - I asked Mike to join us and he has zero interest in running. So the way it works is each day I take Cameron and Allie out for a run - but we always do it one at a time -- so just Cam and me and then just Allie and me. I'm using an app to track our distance so I have to take my phone along so I do have some pictures from these experiences.

Weeks ago we discovered these "secret ponds" a few roads over and we decided this would be our training route. It's neat that the entire route is almost a square -- the reason I love it is because my mom used to walk "the square" and I have many memories of doing it with her.

So each day we try to run just a bit further along the square. I find this to be a HUGE metaphor for our lives. Yesterday Allie said, "I want to try to run to the ponds" so we did. Cameron said, "I want to try to run to the ponds but then start going up the hill" so we did. Why is this a metaphor for me? I want to still be the best mom I can be. I want to still be the best high school choral director that I can be. I want to still be a pretty good wife (Mike is VERY supportive of my late nights creating content for my students). I want to still be the best daughter and granddaughter that I can be. (Speaking of Grandpa Carr -- I've been sending little videos to my cousin Shauna and she shows them to Grandpa for me. I've been singing in the last few. Shauna said he loves them and gets a little teary eyed. I get VERY teary eyed thinking of him...I realized yesterday it's because he's the last LIVING connection I have with my mom. Whenever I look in his blue eyes, I see my mom there. I am VERY homesick for him, for my dad, for Wilmot Township.). So -- since I WANT to be all of these things, I am GOING TO DO ALL OF THESE THINGS. I just need to figure out how to balance it all out....and I think I'm on my way to figuring it out. I have to get through June 1st for school....that seems a very long way off.

Back to the Square....once we clock our mileage for the day, we then explore the ponds. We were so excited to discover baby goslings last week and now look for them each day. We've discovered turtles basking on a tree limb in the pond, algae, a fun pipe to look through, a dead snake (Cam loved that) and a ladybug and a feather. If you've been following this blog or know me personally you know that after my mom died, we would find ladybugs and feathers everywhere. I have a ladybug and feather tattoo on my wrists (something my mother would HATE) to remind me of these signs and to remind me of her. So yes...she is here with me and us....but wow, the pain from missing her has really intensified during this stressful time.

Our turtles

One of our secret ponds

Baby Gosling Sighting!

Can you see the ladybug?

We thought she was dead....

But nope -- she was ok.

Definitely cried....Cameron now knows that crying is ok -- and that these were happy tears. "Better out than in."

Can you see the baby squirrel on the mama's back??

Allie asked if we could sketch the other day after our run. I loved this idea....

And so we did.

Our feather

Mike continues to be an awesome rock for all of us. We had a date night the other night.

He got us tickets to Zoom with one of our favorite musicians, Stephen Kellogg!! He's the guy with the hat on!

We've started to say "Thank you Coronavirus". I NEVER would have thought we would have been able to watch an SK concert from the comfort of our basement with the twins.

Pretty awesome!

Miles liked it too.

Homeschooling continues to go well...thankful for a fantastic school district and a fantastic support team....for the twins AND the parents.

Mrs. Dougherty made a surprise visit to congratulate Allie and Cameron (and their daddy!) on making a great video that explains Brain Freeze.

Miles especially liked it.

This is my COVID-19 tulip garden. Focused on making our yard as beautiful as possible this year...now only if it would stop raining.

We had an awesome Social Distancing Block Party with our neighbors last night. It truly was AWESOME and something we all needed.

Hopscotch in the middle of the road??? Why not!

Shocked they could still fit in these things!

This.....awful picture of him...but this is something I love down to the tips of my toes....singing with my dad through FaceTime. That iPad was worth EVERY penny! Thankful to his neighbor for all of her tech support.